GEOGRAPH,322A,38.250765,-85.745122

10.30.22pm7.56Sunday (Reformation Sunday) In my present work, I am interested in determining fundamental, near-constitutional, FRAMES/GESTALTS/SCHEMATA which are reflected in my response to the long ordeal of homelessness-- in-re then unspoken reasons for eviction, but then too plausibly because I AM A SISSY AND 'DRESS THE PART.' I am NOT interested in a 'SCHEMA THERAPY' as much as I am in the very psychology that 'spitefully' made me act in DENIAL TO THE 'DEGRADATION CEREMONY' of forced exodus from a home-with-cat-re-which-I-was-rent-payer-and-community-charitable-figure. The usual and known work to alter after identification of 'schemata' seems to be a literature with some eclecticism, vagary, and use of 'psychometrics' which to my assessment may obscure THE BEING AS ADJUSTING TO THE HOMELESS CRISIS WHICH THIS FORCED EXILE (which always seemed to be of motives-suspect to me). I am using my writing, the versification, the prosaics, and t...

 Now the Yes Time, when O No sated must to landfill-bed of Discardeds go. A little snag, a friend now and then appears and disappears as do all the stuffs of occasional certainty, like some infestation that gives the insect's hope of leverage buy out of decent work with hoes and shovels on trenches to keep such enemies at bay. . . Yes now that an overpopulation of almost two by unsustainable Care got subdued, in extinction glad nothing left of compassion (nice to feel it, but saying so gets BeLove tired, doesn't it?) something survivaly survives, so sissy gets to work again, with shovel, a digging hole and hovel, staving off Invading Bugs of Type-Other. . . I then bless this time's Yes.

 There are observables in that work which is my vocation, calling: making text=> Versification is atop the apex of writs, usually or commonly showing assonance as rhyme and alliteration, which seems to be a way for me to tighten a sense of thought-completion; beneath that tip-top comes prosaics, which usually have degrees-identifiable of thought organization, and the prose pieces can evolve from a looser, close to flight-of-ideas verbiage which could be termed 'screeds' as having a 'mad mad quality' in the several senses of the term, but which THOUGH CRAZY IN A BLATANT SENSE REVEAL SOME DEEP PROCESS OF EMOTIVE-COGNITION OR PRE-COGNITION WHICH-- WHILE DIFFICULT FOR ME TO PERUSE AFTER-THE-FACT-- ACT AS UR-THESES OR ELEMENTS-OF-LATER-GESTALT WHICH WARRANT MY FACING-- USUALLY WITH DISCOMFORT, AND IF NOT 'CLOSED' COULD RESULT IN PUBLIC NOTICE, THEN THE VARIOUS FORMS OF INCARCERATION WHICH THE 'CRAZY PEOPLE' GET; the main gist is to avoid such 'public n...

 It seems to be a safe, pat, convincing plan to NOT worry about how InNeedOfFix I am, for I am and have always been odd-man-out, with the bitter life lesson that while this oddness has its fundamental comforts, silly it is to go about looking for One to appreciate, to OK, my strange Being without plaint. Here, in this cell, dependent on no outgoing society, what I am 'growing,' incubating by my own standards become exceedingly worthwhile, NOT in need initially to have some fondling (always unreal in motive) to rave about TheWondersOfMe, when in fact these are developing. I know well that 'outside' fans will have been rarest, and at any rate not responsive to Helloing messaging as an introductory habit. Now and Then Hello may be reciprocated, but that habit will in substance be tactical, a better way, 'midst all these menacers who when the signal is prime give me a good killing for being a sissy. Moreover in this vein, while obviously I prefer cisWomen, the 'rite...

 I grow small; my body shrinks where usual sexus sits, unto my tits, bigging, bettering. . . . . .Tickle tickle, my nipples now pinch, atop four and more to the inch; this cannot be pornography, but a liberation from my birth accident, damned 'down there' to the nowhere of finding friend JUST FRIEND among women. Constantly, I go about now in a state of bliss: clearly the hormones (Spironolactone, Estradial, Medroxiprogesterone) and herbs (Red Clover, Leucine, Fenugreek) have done something so beautiful that I go fearless this way, reverently in the direction of women-- and I do have friends be-wombed !

    Since October 6, just like nine days ago, I have been taking teas of Fenugreek seeds, Red Clover seeds, and Leucine amino acid-- all conducive to prolactin stimulation and so I call my brew 'Prolactinergia,' and to the degree that galactose-like thus oxytocin-like physiology emerges from my body-- as I shall posit here abetting a re-focus of my sexual energies including my cognitive element in erotics. Once I experienced diarrhea in this span of use, but that may have been more-due to my succinctly untidy housekeeping; there is (perhaps by psy suggestion, perhaps not) a deeply comfortable feeling about my overall elan toward living, and my interest in work of love, both in the literary product of my effort to noetically heal/decouple from the hard-hit-yes of raw homelessness, AS WELL as in a strident effort to be loving to woman, yes all women as Angels/Goddesses, but too in trying (again as again and again is my 'usual') to find a particular woman unto whom I can b...